In search...

In the journey to discover what you want you stumble across things that you never thought you required. It’s the little things that go unnoticed and when you finally have it you realise you always wanted it. As I walk through the similar paths, I realise that even in the hordes that surround us, even in the most crowded place, we are alone. In this loneliness you thank god for giving you those few people who are by your side.People may walk by in a flash but those few never do. Every day you see a new set of people. Everyday you see struggle and you realise that may be in a better position than many. At least you have some things that people struggle all their lives to get. Every day I grow older and every day I learn something new. You leave your past behind and yet so many things about your past make you want to relive every moment. It’s funny that when we are living those moments we wish we could be someone different and now when we are that different person, we end up craving for those moments. Everyone goes through that phase and everyone agrees with me and yet we never fail to enjoy each and every moment. This moment will never come back again and yet the fear of future will make you forget what you need to do in the present. It’s the sense of loss that makes you stop and halt and think, what have we lost and what will we lose. It’s like we fail to realise the happiness that small small things can bring. It’s like we never realise the importance of a firefly until we are alone on a lonely road walking in the night, when the sight of it brings a smile and you want to follow it because it makes you believe in light again. Darkness surrounds everyone and everyone is in search of light and so when we get that ray of light in the form of even a small firefly, we want to become children again following these sweet little creatures who teach us to live life even in darkness because light always is at the end of tunnel. These thoughts are not new, nor unique and definitely not unknown but they are like nursery rhymes that we all know so well and do hum in happiness but fail to remember when we are alone and lost. They are there in our minds but we fail to keep them in forefront always putting them in the back where the chances of us finding it are remote

Emotional turmoil...

Its ironical that every time u think of doing good, all you end up doing is creating a mess…Nothing new...I mean it might be a common phenomenon… nothing interesting either but it does hurt to notice that your actions end up hurting someone…the thought doesn’t matter…the feelings behind the actions doesn’t count but what is left behind is the sadness that you see residing in the eyes of the person for whom you care the most…there are some words that strike you hard but there are those unspoken words that leave an impact on you that you just cannot ignore…it’s like a needle that keeps pricking you…you want to mend things, you want to bring that smile on that face yet all you manage to do is make that person feel like going away…you have waited to see that person, be with that person, you always dreamt of making it the best time of that person’s life and yet your action makes it impossible for that person to even breathe…it churns my heart to be a reason for that unhappiness, for that breathlessness…I wish I could be a reason for that beautiful smile, a reason for that person to feel at ease, to feel like loving more…not a reason for someone’s boredom…I would rather be the laughter in the talks than the disappointment in someone’s eye…why cant it be that you can be together without hassles? Without distance? The depth of the feelings increase yet there are things that keep you away…there are things that make you want to cry out loud…there are pains that rip your heart out and yet there is this unfathomable strength to keep it going…the thought of not loving, not being loved is so unbearable that your heart gives you every strength it can summon to make it move ahead…it’s a difficult ride,at times even funny the way it makes you do things that you never thought you could do…things that you didn’t believe in…things you thought your mind was incapable of processing…the strength is what keeps me alive through each day hoping that the next sunrise will bring a better tomorrow…in the hope of hearing those loving words, I can live through each agonizing night filled with anticipation…to hear just the few words of love and that beautiful smile, I can live through the depths of loneliness with a smile on my face…I hope this reason never dies…I hope this feeling never dries…

A thought to think about...

There are so many questions that crowd the mind…so many unanswered queries that leave your mind in a state of pandemonium...It is said that each step u take is a lesson in itself, a path of self discovery…yet you always let your mind see the wrong things rather than the right…you let your will weaken and let the Satan called dejection take over…It is so easy to quit and say I cant…It is harrowing…It is hard…probably worse… but hell who said life is a piece of cake…you need to pay the price if you want to make it big…you need to earn it…Thoughts can take you only to a level but beyond that its you who decide where you want to go…fate will take the step which best suits you…It seems the other way always but you realize one thing that what happens is always what was meant to happen and what is the best...people tend to always neglect that thought…We keep thinking, planning and planning and planning never realizing that we lose out on the main thing IMPLEMENTATION… Isn't it said that life is too short to live in thinking?? In the journey of life we come across many things that change the way we look at things. Yet it never stops to amaze me that sometimes we just dont learn from it...mistakes are made but learning's seldom acknowledged...it’s a thought that rattles the mind many times...we tend to fight everything and sometimes even our own beliefs but what we lack is the power to make this inner struggle our strength to become a person who understands this so called complexity of life in a better way.. life is like the modern version of mahabharata, the battle ground is set, the weapons loaded and the pawns ready to be used... Every person goes through an internal struggle just like Arjun did but what will decide your fate will be how well you decide your strategy..You either play by the rules or create your own.. your belief in yourself and your will is what separates you from the hordes of the pawns that wither away with the blow of the wind...it’s the decision that you make...it’s difficult to be the creator or the fighter but it’s after all your only chance, you may never get a second chance and hence it’s important to decide for yourself.. whether to wither away or to live on...